Loving Lingerie: What's The Appeal?

6 January 2015
 Categories: , Articles


Whether you love shopping for lingerie or dread it, there is no denying that lingerie can be a powerful part of your sexuality. Lingerie can change the way you feel about your self, sexually, and can inspire a vast array of emotions in your partner. The three most common ways that lingerie are used, often without the wearer's intention, are as a fetish, to increase anticipation and to communicate with your sexual partners. Understanding how lingerie fulfills these roles can help you select appropriate lingerie for your relationship. 


When you hear the word fetish, do you think of whips, chains, and thigh-high boots? Although all of these things can be fetishized, the actual definition of fetish is a nonsexual object that brings sexual gratification through its association to sexuality. In the case of lingerie, something that was originally meant to conceal and support the human body has become associated with sexual desire and gratification, mostly due to the large amount of advertising and popular media portraying lingerie as a precursor to sex. 

How should the knowledge that the vast majority of the Western world fetishizes lingerie influence your underwear selection? Most importantly, it should give you confidence to purchase and wear lingerie that you like. When your partner sees you in lingerie, you may be worried that too many of your imperfections are exposed. In actuality, since lingerie is culturally embedded as a fetish object, it is likely that your partner will be aroused by it regardless of your body type or skin tone.  


Lingerie provides a physical barrier between your body and your partner's touch and gaze. This is especially important for male partners, since men tend to be culturally trained to be visually stimulated. Lingerie allows your partner's imagination to engage and builds anticipation in both you and your partner as your lingerie is (or isn't) removed. This anticipation can result in a more satisfying sexual experience, as it allows both participants to reach full physical arousal before the actual act of sex. 

In order to build more visual anticipation, you should consider buying lingerie that covers more than usual. Teddies, corsets, and negligees all do this. Additionally, think of purchasing sets that come off in several pieces, or can be slowly unbuttoned to reveal small portions of your body. 


Your lingerie selection can help set the tone for the type of sexual experience you desire. Beginning with the type of fabric and cut that you select, your lingerie can say whether you desire a passionate, playful, or gentle encounter. The color of your underwear can also say a lot about you, including whether you want to be in control or are willing to let your partner take charge. 

Knowing this, you may try to purchase lingerie for specific moods that you often have to help guide your partner to engage in the type of sexual experience you desire. On the other hand, you can request that your partner purchase you a set of lingerie in order to better understand what their secret desires in the bedroom might be. 

It is also important to note that lingerie from companies like Lena Style can be purchased for your own enjoyment and does not need to be shared with a partner. Understanding your own feelings towards lingerie can help you purchase underwear that increases your confidence and promotes a positive mood throughout the day. But if you are shopping for lingerie with a sexual experience or specific partner in mind, it is important to recognize the three ways Americans use lingerie as a fetish object, to build anticipation, and to communicate before making your selection.